Life As I Know It.

Well, the time has come.

I am finally applying to college. I am applying to Georgia Tech. I can’t really tell if this is more for me or if this is for everyone else who wants me to become an engineer. I have no idea what I want to do. I thought maybe web designer, but i’m not even good at computers. I’d like to do art and literature, but I can’t write poetry and I wouldn’t be able to support myself off of art.

This is really difficult. No matter what, I really want to move to Atlanta. I feel like being in a city with so much culture will help me figure out what I need to do.

I also think i’m going to upload my art to here. I think that will somehow make me feel better. It’s not like i’ve had writer’s block. It’s more like i’ve just been in a slump. I don’t think I have any talent, and that’s why I can’t figure out what career I want. I’m sure i’ll figure it out.

On the plus side, I know where I want to work. I’d like to work for Google. I think that would be a good balance of creativity and engineering. I think it will be good for me. And I need to start listening to my own opinions.

This post is really sappy… I need to stop doing that.

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I’m terribly sorry.

I haven’t been on here in some time. Perhaps i’ve been going through writer’s block, but it’s probably much more than that. I have an exorbitant amount of stress you see, as I am unsure of whether or not I can get into the college I want. Or if I even want to be an engineer anymore. A lot of life questions. I once read a quote somewhere. Hmm… ah! It was this. “An infinite question is often destroyed by finite answers. To define everything is to annihilate much that gives us laughter and joy.” I wonder if the same goes for the opposite. If a finite question is destroyed by infinite answers. If nothing else, the infinite answers would destroy the mind.

I’d like very much to write more. Maybe not even write. Perhaps just read. I’ll be starting a literary blog very soon with some friends of mine. It’s hard for me to choose a major. There are so many things to do and so little time. If I could sit in a room and debate the meanings of literature all day, i’d probably be a lot happier than a lot of people. But at the same time I love building things. I love technology. So i’m trying to solve this finite question puzzle. What can I do with my life, I ask myself.

And I haven’t found that answer yet. It may be a large answer that fills twelve spreadsheets and is color coded by date and subject and that will require a large amount of patience and speed. Or it may be simple. It may be two words long. I’d like help. I’d like to ask someone I trust, “What should I do with my life?” But if you think about it, if you really trust them, they’ll force you to find the answer for yourself.

Anyways, I promised more posts and I didn’t deliver. But I will. I’ll post quotes or some art of mine or anything and everything. It’ll get better.

It will get better.