Goodnight, and Thanks For All the Fish

If anyone got the reference from the title, you deserve every happiness in the world. (I also realize it is so long, but as this is a goodnight post rather than a goodbye forever as I venture through the galaxy post, the title shall remain)

Anyways, a few things. First, i’m probably not done messing with my theme and tweaking it so that my readers and I will actually enjoy it. Secondly, I wanted to share the real point of this post.

Which is to tell you the purpose of renaming my blog. It used to be “This Is A Blog” for all you newbies. And that worked, obviously. But I changed it to something more meaningful. Yin & Pepper refers to the imbalance in my life right now. Yin & Yang and Salt and Pepper perfectly fit together. They are pairs. But when you separate them and attempt to mash them with something else, there can be chaos. Which is what is happening with my mind. As I get closer and closer to college, I get closer and closer to having to decide what I want to do with my life. And it just so happens that my two passions are art and engineering. Art referring to all things artistic, literary and otherwise meaningful. Engineering meaning all things robotics, existentialist, and ingenious. And it’s hard. It’s hard to mash these two loves together, because I don’t want one without the other. Both of them make me so very happy, and yet it causes such inner chaos. Perhaps that’s why I chose Yin & Pepper. Yin & Pepper are both the dark side of their counterparts. Without their partners, they are in darkness. But until I figure out how to balance myself once and for all, I shall remain in this over dramatic state of inner turmoil.

Anywho, i’m off to read Brave New World and build a robot.

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It’s Time For A Change.

Ok. You know how when you make a little change, you suddenly want to change everything for the better? Well, i’m going to change up my blog. It’s going to be aesthetically and mentally pleasing. Maybe i’ll even change the name. But just a heads up, my loyal readers, there’s about to be some change up in hurrr. Maybe it will inspire me to change more of my life.

I’m terribly sorry.

I haven’t been on here in some time. Perhaps i’ve been going through writer’s block, but it’s probably much more than that. I have an exorbitant amount of stress you see, as I am unsure of whether or not I can get into the college I want. Or if I even want to be an engineer anymore. A lot of life questions. I once read a quote somewhere. Hmm… ah! It was this. “An infinite question is often destroyed by finite answers. To define everything is to annihilate much that gives us laughter and joy.” I wonder if the same goes for the opposite. If a finite question is destroyed by infinite answers. If nothing else, the infinite answers would destroy the mind.

I’d like very much to write more. Maybe not even write. Perhaps just read. I’ll be starting a literary blog very soon with some friends of mine. It’s hard for me to choose a major. There are so many things to do and so little time. If I could sit in a room and debate the meanings of literature all day, i’d probably be a lot happier than a lot of people. But at the same time I love building things. I love technology. So i’m trying to solve this finite question puzzle. What can I do with my life, I ask myself.

And I haven’t found that answer yet. It may be a large answer that fills twelve spreadsheets and is color coded by date and subject and that will require a large amount of patience and speed. Or it may be simple. It may be two words long. I’d like help. I’d like to ask someone I trust, “What should I do with my life?” But if you think about it, if you really trust them, they’ll force you to find the answer for yourself.

Anyways, I promised more posts and I didn’t deliver. But I will. I’ll post quotes or some art of mine or anything and everything. It’ll get better.

It will get better.

I’m actually being productive.

I can’t believe it. Today, I jump started a car for the first time BY MYSELF, and now I just wrote a poem! I’m on a roll, baby. But anyways, here’s a quick update for the millions of viewers I pretend I have. And it’s in a list format!

1. I’ll be getting on here more often. Poetry, funny stuff, you name it.

2. My new life goal is to be Iron Man.

3. Because my new life goal is to be Iron Man, I have to focus on my studies more and start some real time management.

4. I have to read Invisible Man. Somebody, force me to do that.

5. I’m going to be one of the leads in an upcoming musical! Marmee, from Little Women. Fun, fun.

Well, there you go. Enjoy. Here’s a picture of Robert Downey Jr. for your viewing pleasure.

High five, bro.

Photograph

It is more than a flash
Or a tinker of parts
From a cheap device
You gained from a sibling
Or a cousin or a
Parent or someone
You don’t even know.
It is underestimated and
Underated in unforgivable ways.
It is a memory, sure
A flicker of the past,
A scent a sound a secret
That has been forever captured
In a box of time possibly
With the date in the corner.
But once again,
It is more than all that.
It is purpose.
It is undeniable
That we achieved
What has been forever
Frozen in a rectangular
Piece of time.
And it is proof.
It is proof that we are here
That we were there
And that we exist.
And that is
Irreplaceable.

I have not written a poem in almost three years. I’m in Panama City Beach right now, but it’s winter and there’s not much to do. And for whatever reason an idea struck me and I wrote something. My long period of writer’s block is finally over! Granted, this poem sucks, and it’s a VERY rough draft, but hey. It’s something.

Whisp

I went to the beach in the wintertime

When it was cool and white

And the locals come out

Without fear of strangers

Stealing long loved spots

With meaning that passerby

Will never know.

I could not point out to you

Those spots with purpose.

Havens have no markers

Save for the whisp of a

Thought

That flashes by when

You realize this is familiar.